After three months of relative seclusion because of mild fear of leaving the house with Baby F. (I’ll save that for another time) and my temporary lack of wheels, I finally began to adventure out late last month. I figured it was time to make some other mommy friends and do activities that mommies do when they’re not working. (Currently I’m working part time seeing patients). I am also in desperate need to lose the baby weight so I searched for more active ways to meet mommies. I quickly joined a post-natal yoga class that sounded like a nice blend of yoga and infant massage as well as a Stroller Strides class (think boot camp with a stroller and screaming child). Both great ways to get my body back in some semblance that I actually recognize. I thought this would be easy. I’ve spent the last few years networking like a mad woman. There wasn’t a Chamber event, BNI group, random networking event that I would miss. I would go by myself, armed with a ton of business cards and prepared to give my elevator pitch at a moment’s notice. The free wine and cheese at many of these events was a huge bonus. I’m naturally a shy person so it was tough going in the beginning but I got pretty good at it after a while. And I met some amazing people along the way. I thought if I could stand up in a room of people I didn’t know and give my elevator pitch (time and time and time again), then I should have no problem meeting some cool new mommies that I could ‘network’ with.
Well...
First off, mommies really don’t introduce themselves by their names unless you really push and ask. It’s more like everyone knows one another by their kid’s name. “Oh.. that’s Shiloh’s mom…” “Hi baby Devon, how are you?” All the while not really engaging the mothers of these children. They would just politely nod at each other and eventually small talk about kid ‘stuff’.
Normally while networking you’d obviously ask, “what do you do?” I felt like in these circles it was not the appropriate thing to bring up. I felt like many of the women were not sure … some, it seems, work or had great jobs that they’re debating about returning to. Others seem almost embarrassed that they’re ‘stay at home’ moms. I figured I was in a unique position because I do work but I have my own business and am building a virtual business as well. However, I kept me and my business to myself. I figured I’d keep my questions to simple demographics such as “how old is your son/daughter”. That seemed like a fair thing to say to break the ice. Well not so. So at the end of my first yoga class I decided to strike up a conversation with a lovely woman next to me. She and I had exchanged a few giggles over our kids and some particularly precarious yoga moves. I dove in and asked “your daughter is beautiful, how old is she?” and was met with “well, my SON is 5 months old”. Opps. My husband still laughs at my first attempt to strike up a conversation with a new mom.
So I hit the Stroller Strides class thinking perhaps the more boot camp set would be more chatty. The instructors are definitely willing to talk about business because essentially this IS their business (great concept for fitness moms out there). I was excited and optimistic. Yet again, it was all talk about the kids - why won’t they sleep, doctors’ visits and first solid foods. Again, no real conversation about life, how different things are now, what passions they have, is your work fulfilling.. Nope nothing.
I know in time I’ll network my way into these mommy circles and find the perfect elevator pitch and lead in to make some new contacts and eventual friends. For now I admit, I miss the random pushy man trying to get you to hire him to do SEO and of course, the free wine!
